my boyfriends mother is obsessed with himmy boyfriends mother is obsessed with him

Okay, the problem here is not your bf's mother - the problem is your bf - plain and simple because ALL he had to do is say 'mama, this trip is just for us - sorry, you can't come. My boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) have been dating for just under a year and his mom has been kinda rubbing me the wrong way. Finally my BF landed an amazing high paying job and we decided that he was going to move in with me. Mother narcissistic, son codependent and you are the third wheel. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. DMs them on instagram asking if they miss him. Not to be rude to you but whatever his mother is doing with her second son that dont have nothing to do with you. She has made it clear that she doesn't intrude on their family's plans and respects their boundaries. - Quora. Especially with the text messages she began to send. Ugly. Eventually, Bill's court resolution was decided and my mum got very angry. It didnt take long for me to start to notice that she would literally only call me to check up on him and try and get info on what he was doing, What I also started to notice was how obsessive she was with him, whenever he didnt answer she would send him a million text messages saying she was going to die and couldnt breath and how could he do this to her and I swear this happened daily. Makes no effort to get to know me better or invite me out even though I invite her to many things. I went there every week for a year. If not then it wasn't meant to be. There are so many beautiful people out there in the world. In 1669, Virginia introduced The Casual Killing Act. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? One week my bf and i had to stay at her house because they were doing renovations at our apartment. The problem I have now is I resent this woman, I cant stand her, but for my bf, I tolerate her. Reddit, Inc. 2023. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. Will walk in while hes changing and not leave. Stay out of it and don't even voice your opinion to your boyfriend. After that, he sort of stopped followingrandom girls. I dont wanna sound like a dick but i dont find that to fall under my responsibility at all. possessive thoughts . We were doing this the other day and my boyfriends mom comes over, sits on his lap, and starts tickling him, all while Im still laying on his chest. She always tries to make me feel bad about myself and idk what to do. So the next day, when he went out of town for a work trip, I told myself to forget about it, that it wasn't important. All I kept thinking was, "I don't understand. I was incredibly uncomfortable throughout the entire experience. Sounds like my dad! my boyfriends mom is obsessed with him. Cookie Notice He does this all the time and I always find a new Ex-girlfriend or Ex -hookup. Blah, Blah, Blah . you are STILL whining about his mama when your problem is your man. Does he see a problem with his family or is he seeing you as the problem. First, my boyfriend was tired of the rules his mother had in her house and the constant fighting with her husband. I didn't want to disappoint him since he had suggested giving me a "real" massage many times before, so I laid down in my mum's room and Bill began touching me inappropriately everywhere on my body. A Home Bakery based in Raleigh. Now, shes always cold and rude to me. 3. What did he do about it? She was in denial as most parents probably are about this kind of thing. I understand it could happen and we all do it sometime, but when its all the time, almost every week, it makes me feel disgusting and unwanted. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. if not then leave him alone. She openly says how hes her favorite in front of his siblings and says that everyone is jealous of him. Showing her true colors. The thing is, he doesnt always drive (I pick him up to go to my house sometimes) which means I have to take my car to go pick up his brother. All rights reserved. The only other things you can look out for include: (1) excessive jealousy. The only thing men change are women, girlfriends or wives. Being focused on the present has really helped me stop worrying so much about my future. nothing like that has happened since. I was in a place where I never thought I could succeed at anything again. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I wonder why this old ass thread got bumped. feeling the need to "protect" the person you're in love with. My boyfriend (23) and I (22) have been together for 3 years. It bothers me a lot. At first, everything went well. My mom hasnt been this involved with my life in years and I cant imagine her ever being this mean to a boyfriend of mine (she hasnt met him yet bc we live in different states). After living together I found out more about what he does in his free time. So, after a while of lying there helplessly, I just said I was done and walked out. I recently started noticing things that didn't seem right from . we went on a wine tour on the trip and she made a comment on my drinking saying to watch out. Five months later, I was at my dad's house when I just started crying uncontrollably. All rights reserved. Things got worse when she would randomly show up at his place to give him soup when he was sick or to say hi. However, after a few months into the relationship, we started spending a lot more time together. Mind you, I live in a really good neighborhood. Although I didn't like the behavior I never brought it up to her and every time I went to her house for dinner things seemed fine. My partner (22 M) is a nice guy. Do all guys or a lot of guys do this? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Archived post. She even texts him selfies of herself frequently and once send him the bitmoji or her naked on a bed full of rose petals. He could have changed plans whatever to ENSURE she could not join you. Can I be honest with you his mother don't like or trust you. Look it is very wrong of you to attempt to change someone and it is very wrong of them to attempt to change you. She cuddles him when I'm around, put his legs on his lap, or holds his hand, even though I'm literally next to them. It was so uncomfortable I did my best to avoid being around her because it made me look at my bf differently. When we began dating I thought his mother was a very sweet and loving woman and we became close because whenever my bf wouldnt answer her calls she would call me and ask if he was ok. At first I would always answer and assure her that he was fine and safe and I would get on his case about answering his poor mother. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. Classic boy's-mama vibes. She has been a single mother since he was 9, and although his father is a very present person in his life even though my boyfriend used to live with her for most of his life. You see your social calendar becoming consumed by dinners and lunches with his mom. My apologies this is long but i have no one else to vent about this to. My (22F) boyfriend's (25M) mom is crazy obsessive over him. We've been dating for two and a half years and just bought a house together in the spring. Why, why are you still there and are you ok with changing yourself for others? He compares your cooking to her cooking. Let him know that you feel uncomfortable that his mother is present during your private time, on dates and events. I was first introduced to his family after we were dating for around 3 months. Look it is very wrong of you to attempt to change someone and it is very wrong of them to attempt to change you. Wait a moment and try again. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Will This Man Find His Dream Girl Part 41? Tell him about the stories you've heard, the problems a mom like his can cause. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. She compliments him in a way a girlfriend would. When I first met his mom I really liked her, she was pretty, nice and cool. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Black (Pan-African) Cuisine is severely underrated. July 12, 2023 - 4 likes, 2 comments - Laur (@laurnsreads) on Instagram: " My Fault book review /5 Synopsis: Seventeen-year-old Noah Morgan l." For context: I had one embarrassing night 2 years ago where I drank to much and puked in his parents bathroom - I was really mortified and asked that they not bring it up again. I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and we live together with his parents. He also shared with me his cellphone pw after we broke up once before. Does this mean he finds me unattractive or stopped loving me? Were both just in the process of growing up and being a little more independent then before since we just turned adults this year. I just allowed myself to fully feel everything, because I was realizing that trying to ignore my feelings hadn't made them less painful. Other important info: she consistently exaggerates stories about my boyfriends sister in law. She don't want you for son. This is where things started to get more complicated for me. But here I am through the other side and I have never felt so happy and full of life and love as I do now. I had to tell them everything so they could file a report. Bill stopped me upstairs to ask if I wanted a massage. But after a while, I accepted their divorce and became open to the idea of them being in relationships with other people. My boyfriend keeps comparing me to his mother, I think my boyfriend wants me to get him expensive stuff, The Closet - Anonymous LGBT Relationship Questions, Page Six: Sofa Vergara and Joe Manganiello divorcing after 7 years of marriage, Popular Nigerian IG model influencer Austa Xxo killed & mutilated by boyfriend Killaboi who is on the run, JT gets into it with blogger on Twitter. Good luck because I dont have a clue what to tell you! Try again. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Only married people will share a bedroom and xes in my home and I'm not buying nothing to "win" you over so the mom really has tried to make an effort to make you feel comfortable and you're complaining. He touched every part of my body without any clothes or a towel on. She used to cry on the phone to him that she misses him and wants him to come home and every time he visits he tells me she does the same thing and makes comments about why he should move back. Privacy Policy. Basically, she always found something to complain about regarding me and never had anything nice to say even if I had been 100% perfect. as he left. She said she would stop. Cookie Notice Shes never happy unless my bfs there yet she has another younger son and a husband that she bosses around all day. I was perfectly happy with all of this until my mum bought a house and invited Bill to move in. Privacy Policy. Tom Holland detailed how he realized he was "definitely . My parents had immediately called a social worker to schedule an appointment and the social worker had called the police. I kept telling him no! She walks around without a bra on at night and then tries to have conversations with my bf and she has big boobs! "I Was Sexually Assaulted By My Mom's Boyfriend", Lets Change the Girl Scouts Law, This Troop Says, Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. My parents split up six years ago when I was nine. All cluster B personalities ranging from garden variety narcissist with a proclivity to narcissism to full blown narcissist are narcissistic. I screamed a lot. Wix will let you build an entire website using only AI prompts, Chiile The Disrespect , just going to pee on her face. If you want to see what your future is like (or just like reading funny stories), head over to the JustNoMiL board in reddit. Can someone tell me what to do? Scan this QR code to download the app now. Because she tries to convince my bf to leave the city we are in all the time. Shit like this usually happens so i dont think it bothered him or he felt like it was weird or anything. She talked about how he deserved worse and how she wished he had suffered more. Snap chatting him. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. This is why I do not do parents. We didn't see each other that often, and he used to stay with his mother most of the week. Its just really annoying and kind of disrespectful especially because its during my own time with my boyfriend and his mom is asking me to go out of my way to do something that isnt my responsibility at all. Or if Im just being over dramatic about it? Nor do I really care. Every. It took my mum a while to process this, which wasn't easy for me. I wanted them to be happy, of course. But hes still looking up and finding all his exs or past hookups. Are you ok with this? Why is he doing this?". Reddit, Inc. 2023. I want this to end. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The list goes on. She is not even joking about it. Sometimes well cuddle lying down (Ill lie on his chest) and watch TV together. Was he as upset as you seem to be? My boyfriend's mother acts like a jealous lover! But is she doing too much? The only thing men changes are women, girlfriend or wives. My boyfriends mom is obsessed with him, never says anything nice about me to my boyfriend, she finds anything she can to complain about and makes up stories to make her look like the victim. His parents were poor and they always had some business they wanted to start and kept trying to give me a position or responsibility in it. The thought of leaving Stuart House that fall was overwhelming, but moving on didn't turn out to be as difficult as I had thought. I'll never forget the day Bill admitted what he did to the police. I have a great relationship with my mother. When she says something nasty about you, he doesn't stick up for you. He got mad at his mother for upsetting me so bad and didnt talk to her for 2 weeks until she apologized. We went on vacations with him and spent time with his family. She follows me on social media and screenshots wheneverr I post him on snap chat. On the first trip, she fought with the hotel for booking them a room with two beds instead of a suite with a matrimonial bed. My mum's feelings immediately changed. He'd be angry and try to hurt me, or he'd want to try to fix things between us. You, my friend, are dealing with a narcissistic parent. Cookie Notice Finally, I told my dad I had been uncomfortable around my mum's boyfriend lately. OP does not want advice rather I think she just wants to vent or have people agree with her. She often called him, telling him she was worried about his son and his "obsession" with me. That you've seen enough red flags to be scared that you two can't have the future you'd like. Most of her pictures on social media are my bf. She literally says ' how can you sleep without saying goodnight to me?'. Can We Discuss The Background Players Courtney and Monyetta? Weve been in a relationship almost two years now and been living together for couple months now. All rights reserved. Founders of "Sweet & Savoree Sisters". ( i know I'm not always perfect and have definitely made mistakes but not every time I see her), This continued until last month when things go really bad when I went on vacation to his family summer home with his parents, brother and a group of our friends. He seems to take her side on a lot of issues and when I confronted his mom he told me that I was being over sensitive and should have ignored her- it also seemed he took her side when he talked to her on the phone. and our This was a really cathartic way for me to get things out of my system. Idk if this is normal. After reading that message reflecting how she really felt about me, I didnt talk to her the same and lost complete trust in her. I was only 12, but I definitely knew somewhere inside of me that this wasn't right. Maybe your boyfriend is not a good fit for you. It's important for me to note that I come from a lower class than them. As much as growing up can be difficult and stressful, I"m trying to think about the good things that come along with it, too. You don't have a mother in law issue, you have a boyfriend issue, and your boyfriend needs to be re-conditioned to a new normal. Is your man ok with therapy to change his behavior? If not well you know already. I would often end up curled up in a ball on the floor. My boyfriend and her seemed to have a healthy relationship and I saw no red flags. Xper 4 Age: 26. She's always texted him all day every day and I never understood why he would never respond to her and would get annoyed by that. Why I say this? 2023 Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. I feel bad about this, but my boyfriends mom gives me a weird vibe and I dont really like this. What can i do to make my relationship with his mom better? The only one who makes you feel anything is you - by the way that you interpret a past event to yourself.". But God forbid you say anything about her. I started to not like her as much when I noticed she called 1-2 times a day and if my boyfriend didn't respond she would complain about how he didn't have time for her. I don't think some of you are quite understanding exactly what I've meant by some of the things I've said the pitfall of online communication, I guess. For more information, please see our I turned 24 in May and he'll be 30 in September. She asks him about me and says she misses me and just puts on this whole faade. There are so many things I do now that help me when I start to feel scared or sad. Stop being so gotdamn thirsty. Privacy Policy. However, everything went down hill the second he move out of his parents place in January 2018. Clarence Thomas is Like the Enslaved Character Django: Keith Elison, Network? As for her not respecting my time with him, she basically asks him to run errands during our time together, and has even gone as far to ask that I drive my own car for his errands. Both my relationship with his mom and with him were great and before he moved out she even told me she was sad she wouldn't see me as much and that I needed to come over to visit. Privacy Policy. He was just giving me a massage, right? Reader Left Out writes, My boyfriend and I have been together for just about 6 months. Unfortunately for his mother, my boyfriend chose to live with his father mostly because of two things. Especially after I read a message she sent him talking shit about me when I had left him. When my boyfriend turned 14, she introduced him to his stepdad and asked him if he could move in with them. So messy and always inserting herself in our business. Does he see a problem with his family or is he seeing you as the problem. This made me cry for her and for me. There was a period of time where I wrote almost every day in my notebook or on the notes in my phone. A lot of teenagers think going to a therapist is a bad thing or that it means you're crazy. He cannot hurt me anymore. First of all I don't appreciate being called a liar when you have misread my post. Here is a list of things she did or allowed: One time, she told my boyfriend she was worried about him spending so much time at my house because she feared his car would get stolen. Run! First, I want to apologize for any grammatical mistakes. Fortunately he seems to want to break free from her but she still has a little hold on him that he cant seem to fully break away. 1. A while back, I used to imagine Bill walking into my school or finding me with friends.