I am anything but fine in this arranged marriage that sometimes makes me feel suffocated.., Thats it, I get up from the bed and ball my fists tightly. Yeah, women are surely, 100% entirely responsible for all pregnancies. You are up early today.. He remarks looking everywhere but me. Oh really. I dont know that much about their marriage other than she cheated on him (i think, a lot) and that was it. It has 300.8k likes, 10.3k comments and 10.7k shares. I just think its smart to consider that possibility, especially in this case. Sounds like they were in a discussion about getting pregnant again and the boyfriend was briefly on board with it. Youre overthinking this, too. Just seems so irresponsible. We will get back to you soon Mr. Prabhakaran.. My father announces. My whole life Ive felt like they should have been more careful. I would find the best domestic and family law attorney in town that money could buy to write up custody and child support payments to protect the interests of your unborn child. I hope you share more like this. You didnt tell the LW who wrote in about a miscarriage good b/c people shouldnt have kids. For more information, please see our She doesnt exactly seem to be the most marture individual either. One of my hairdressers told me that she has done a lot of wedding hair and a lot of the time the bride has tears, but they arent tears of joy. Having to decide whether to keep or not.. You keep playing the what ifs in your head. I wish it didn't have to be this way, I wish I could welcome a little one into my life. it makes me so sick when anyone, women or men, are willing to so completely manipulate a situation so that their dream life materializes. Since I have a feeling this is where the LW might be heading in her quest: OP, whatever you do, DO NOT contact the new woman hes dating to let her know that he got you pregnant. He says its early days and they may not last he seemed uncertain already. Work on yourself and prepare for life with baby then child. Dont rush things out of being obligated. If a man you broke up with used some fancy tricks and manipulation on you to make you fall in love with him? South Indian parents have this weird custom or practice or whatever BS you call it to select the life partner for their children and then they call it an arranged marriage. Its because hes probably not a bad guy and is concerned a little bit for the baby. So, the most economical way to go about having a baby if you really want one is to get knocked up by some dude. This guy doesnt want a relationship with you. And Im sorry but going through the motions and loss of spark are not, to me, good enough reasons to divorce after only a year of being together. Not in my experience. Another reason to be annoyed at all these dumb stories about how women should get desperate at about 32 and a half. Dont focus on having a relationship with this guy. She's sixteen, the baby of the family with an annoying big sister and strict, over protective parents. It is the baby you are carrying! Maybe theyll be together forever. ok, im sorry, but im just going to say this now: not everyone is destined to have a husband/wife with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. I guess he has written a list of questions on his palm or something. it makes me so sick when anyone, women or men, are willing to so completely manipulate a situation so that their dream life materializes. Im sorry but you clearly wanted a child and you were hoping this guy would stick around after you became pregnant. ! And your life can be full of newfound joy. I watch him swallow before continuing, "..I tried to fall in love with you but I never could. You are a 41 year old woman, and I can only hope you will give this baby all of the devotion and attention you seem to be giving some guy who you were only with for 5 months. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. This time she isnt alone but is being followed by her daughter. I say the rest of the part quietly in my head. And that doesnt account for STDs. BELIEVE him when he says he sucks at parenting and sucks at relationships. He knew that, and he knew he didnt want to have a baby with you, so he broke up with you (no, it wasnt his single friends who caused that). He told her exactly who he was a guy who has hang ups and doesnt want a serious relationship and she didnt listen. and im 37! Its what people do. I nod. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Be happy you have a child. She was next to him. LWim sorry your hurting right nowrejection hurts (i know i have been in your shoes many times)believe this: the sooner you get over this man, the sooner you can move on with your life and focus on your new babythis is a new and exciting time in your life (you are going to be a mother! Until I discovered the affair. If everything goes according to plan, he is, Read More Weve Lost that Lovey-Dovey FeelingContinue. At this point, of course SHE is not going to be the one to recommend birth control it since she wants this to happen. She was living a new . If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. A man is the one who knows when he is and Is not planting his seed. I was on my knees in pain and the massive blood loss coupled with the already severe anemia made me very dizzy and confused. Abby explained that she is currently pregnant, but with her ex-husbands baby. To be honest, I think Im going to like the idea that my soon-to-be husband can quickly draft some divorce papers and serve me with them any day he wants to. And for your childs sake, you need to work on maintaining a stable relationship with this man, keeping the lines of communication open, and making him feel welcome to be part of both the pregnancy and the parenting without smothering him with your desire to be his partner. I hope you two got to know each other.. A lot of people get married when they shouldnt. Men have nothing to do with them and its definitely all the womens fall when cheating happens. Your boyfriend should have used a condom if he didnt want a pregnancy but I second Wendy in saying that you were quite wrong to deceive him. Work on being the best parent you can be. Of course he doesnt want to get back together with her. The tears automatically start flowing down my face but I wipe them before he could see them. Give me an O. O! Everyone else has that covered. Do you have any hobbies or interests out of sports? The same man asks me again. My ex, their new partner and our kids Blended families, how to make yours work - tips from a co-parenting expert Five tips to help you communicate with your co-parent Rebecca Jones Rebecca has a background in family law and has also been through her own divorce. I really want him back, and I am prepared to work through his commitment issues. Her relatives are now blowing up my phone calling me horrible spiteful bitch. Theres no such thing as having too much money for your childs future. Thanks for all the sweet messages, the concerns, the love, the support, the dms, everything. And its better for those divorces to happy within the 5 year range. but, for whatever reason, you have a potential baby and a potential husband so all is well and good right now ugh. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. I was great about birth control, but hardly ever had a back up method (once in a committed relationship, where everyone was tested), and never had a pregnancy scare. A third commented: No one is perfect. Completed ex-wife texttospeech billionaire +9 more # 2 Mr. CEO's Pregnant Ex-Wife by Ruffa Torres 2.5M 59.6K 39 Ask E. Jean: I'm Pregnant With My Ex-Husband's Baby, Sarah Paiji Yoo on Fighting Single-Use Culture. Dont get me wrong he is no innocent I think everyone should be responsible for their own birth control so Im not crying tears for him since he got himself here but her motivations just sound so shady particularly since her sole focus seems to be how do I get him back. This is your job now. Anyway, it certainly wasnt the most responsible way of conceiving a child in an unstable relationship, with someone who wasnt completely on board with it. I hope they can work something out and she can, in time, refocus her romantic attention on a man that actually wants her because this guy doesnt but for now her focus needs to be on providing for the little one on the way. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. Marriage is a serious commitment, which is why I appreciate divorce so much. Its not immature to try and make a relationship work so that your child can have two biological parents who love each other and stick together. I am dedicating this book to all my Indian readers and friends. However, it seems that youve wanted to have a baby for a while so you CAN turn this situation around and make your future life a pretty happy one. Read More Shortcuts: Should I Stay or Move On?Continue. Dont get me wrong. OMG I noticed that too!! Likely she assured him she was on the pill/IUD and encouraged him not to use a condom at least part of the time. we dated for about three years and then broke up when we went to college, but we remained close, obviously. Youre treating this like it was a years-long relationship. Im not planning on having children, so Ive always comforted myself that as I get older, the chance of an accident gets slimmer and slimmer. She went ape shit. Of course you have! It seems not. She must mean 21. LW, I hope for your babys sake, youre actually a lot more mature than you sound here. Mia Feitel Dear E. Jean: Seven months ago I rekindled things with my ex-husband, who's now married to another woman. No wonder.. I run a hand through my hair which is short and recently cut, ..how many times have you talked to my mom before today? The LW is pregnant, thats all that matters. Mini edit: it's 11pm here. . I was watching it on OWN! Nothing can be more joyous than this but how in the hell am I going to tell him? Oh my lord, the poor child. This man has made it abundantly clear that he wants ZERO relationship with you and will do whatever legal responsiilities he needs to for the child. You cant fix someone elses problems, and more so, it seems clear this man doesnt want that. LW, you asked how to handle the situation? I told him he could go fuck himself for all I cared. My bet is that no protection was used during this time because of that possibility AND maybe because they wrongly thought she couldnt get pregnant right after a miscarriage. You can be a great parent even if you are a shitty spouse. Finally, I know this awkward meeting is coming to an end soon when our fathers shake hands and our mothers hug each other. 41 and after 5 months completely desparate. If I do keep the baby, I may lose the man. Thats not how it works. And one day, I hope you find a love that your ex was incapable of. ).so forget your ex (he is not worth another thought!) This letter makes me sad. I have a friend who did this to a guy and guess what! romance; carmella +12 more # 5. You ex sounds stupid because stand by you if you get pregnant sounds like he thinks babies happen if you wish enough, and he has no control over it. I completely encourage people to get divorced if its going to make them happy. I have no english words to describe how gutted I was when I woke up to his concerned face next to me. If he wants to be involved, he will, but more likely than not he wont be too into it (since his words and actions have said that much) and you should be prepared with a lawyer and a custody order once the baby is born. You just dont. Trying to be inconspicuous, I pull the collar of my shirt thats sticking to the sweat drops on the nape of my neck. I mean, how can you marry someone you hardly know? Dont you think they love each other? She refers to my sister-in-law, who was also my parents choice for my brother and currently sitting with my parents in the backseat. Performance & security by Cloudflare. But after the miscarriage, she obviously knew that she was still fertile and that getting pregnant was a possibility. Yeah, he doesnt sound like he would have been open to a baby with her. Yes, ideally, you want your child to have two parents that are together. FABULOUS BINGO: Get a 20 bonus & 30 free spins when you spend 10 today, I got caught and I was pretty belligerent - like yeah, Im not gonna apologise, I dont think youre treating me the best and you used to break my heart when we were kids.. He is just a sperm donor, actually and the last thing you need is this sort of relationship drama. The guy was too trusting of her truthfullness. The child and I will be second-class citizens. So now weve got more and more people at this age who have gotten really lazy about birth control because what are the odds?. I wanted to slap every single person in the episode! I say this all not because its important- he broke up with you and moved on to somebody else- but to help you move on. What kind of a relationship with his/her father can he/she expect to have in light of your deception? The Purpose of intercourse is to procreate. We decided to hangout one day. Meantime, hes unsure but does nothing to change their routine. sometimes we all just need to accept the hand that life has dealt us. Let him be happy with his girlfriend. Date him again for a while and if you can really see yourself happy with him and he treats you well, go with the flow and don't try to force it. Also, like many others, I find it VERY hard to believe you got pregnant twice in such a short time span. 2.5M 60.7K 39. Its hard to imagine that a woman who wants to have a kid and has, at best, a couple fertile years left, is trying really hard not to get pregnant. I dont buy this. Note: This is my first book set in India, the country where I live. Aside from all the really obvious reasons hes not going to marry you and buy a house with a white picket fence where you will raise the child you tricked him into impregnating you with, I wouldnt kid yourself about his ability to get serious with a woman in her late twenties. Isnt there a hormone surge or something pre-menopause that makes women more fertile? She has an advice column. But if things start to become toxic or you start feeling feelings of resentment, then maybe its best to co parent. I have two friends older than LW who have gotten accidentally pregnant (one is 46!). but it feels forced obviously because of the situation. And it actually sounds like hes warming up to the idea of doing the right thing by going with her to a drs appointment. I called ex husband to tell him about baby, and the high risk of miscarriage. so unsure about everything. One desperate crazy woman will damage the future of 3 lives, in addition to her own economic situation, if the man were not to step up to the plate. Id stay out of your exs relationship with his new girlfriend, and Id stop texting him. Ask E. Jean: I'm Pregnant With My Ex-Husband's Baby - ELLE She is smart, gorgeous and the perfect match for our Kavin.. My mother beats me to answer that question. My heart is already raw over that hard but necessary decision. This guy is certainly not husband material. She has my sympathy for traveling the thrills and fears of first time motherhood without a partner. He is constantly here, catering to my every need. I like the idea of preemptive advice. Dear E. Jean: Seven months ago I rekindled things with my ex-husband, who's now married to another woman. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Its got to be so much worse if your mom is a total dipshit. My heart rate begins to shoot up, hearing the opening and closing of the door to our bedroom. A few hours after posting actually. I live in a little cabin on an island (it's about the size of a mattress) in upstate New York. It isnt your job to fix him or to work on his issues or do anything else that starts with he or his. Hi reddit. Without going into detail, Greg was divorced. Control issues? Another woman writes to you for advise and the FIRST thing you do is SHAME her and JUDGE her?? Perfect examples of how NOT to live your life. (Though with this guy, judge away). Accept that hes probably not the type of guy willing to put in the hard work a relationship takes. I have been trying to tell you this for a while now but I didn't know how.. My heart rate spikes up at the seriousness of his tone. that is hardly a good life. He doesnt want to be with you! Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). It took me and my elder brother, Kathir a while to accept it and talk to her again but we love her and we couldnt desert her just like that. Move the fuck on. My best friend is 27 and shes married to a 36 year old man- and I have other friends with similar age gaps between them and their SOs. She thought the worst years of her life were over but the worse was yet to come. You cant work through his commitment issues for him, he doesnt want to work through them. Folks online urged Anissa to "divorce" her husband due to his explosive reaction to their pregnancy news. And at 40, it drops to 5 percent. Accident? I really want him back, and I am prepared to work through his commitment issues. Its time again for Shortcuts. Hi, Im Nilay, their elder brother.. The guy points at both the girls and stretches his hand out for me, which I take in a curt shake. so get excited about it, you are having a baby! If this is a case of you forgetting pills, youre a dope and probably meant to get pregnant. At 41, you have some screws loose and need therapy , not a baby. . LW yeah, Im sorry, but you cant force this guy into having a relationship with you. But, Im pregnant with my first husband's baby - hes actually not my husband but thats a story for another day and that one doesnt really count because I was just a ratchet teenager and married a guy that I didnt really know, but thats another story. if this guy magically decided to be committed to you, you know what would happen? You were together for five months, which is barely long enough for a couple to decide they want to be exclusive, much less have a family together. Why do you even want to have a relationship with this immature boy? Its blatantly obvious. So that isnt always a total dealbreaker or proof that a guy doesnt take marriage seriously it may be proof that he does. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Thats what I find so weird. A place to get personal things off your chest. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Get your shit together, put your big girl pants on, and get ready to raise this baby and co-parent with this man. One person said: This story just kept getting better and better. omg. Ask E. Jean: How Do I Cope With Rejection? So, you have absolutely no problem staying here while I am traveling around the world? I frown at her. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. For context: My best friend is 30 and is dating someone who is also 30, who got married at 27 to his college girlfriend (also 27 at the time) and got separated about a year later (the divorce took/is taking a while due to trying to avoid attorney fees, and weird laws with mandatory waiting periods it is completely above board and there is no chance of funny business or lying about the divorce). Of course, he doesnt have a choice now. I have dated a couple men over the years who trapped by women who got pregnant. What made you enter the cricket field? A total stranger in his mid-sixties asks me. You are 41 years old and you are worrying about how to get back with this guy (who frankly sounds like a manchild) instead of, oh, I dont know, how to care for your baby as a single mother!? Seriously. Otherwise, he seemed to be honest about what he wants, what he doesnt want, what he can handle, etc. Sue Llanes are you sure youre not Sulema Lira? Do you mind? I ask her, fishing the phone out of my pant pocket. Screamed and cried I had no right to have HER man's baby, that I am stealing her life and being a bitch. I feel for the guy but this is why you need to be responsible for your own birth controlparticularly when there has already been an accident. First, WWS! 'Yes, a thousand times. Give me an N. N!!. Just keep following your instinct of keeping in contact & maintaining his involvement. About Nithila? its like when you try and force out a fart, and you end up shitting yourself. its disgusting. Logic gymnastics much? But now. Sorry if thats harsh but I have little patience for stupidity today. Maybe you and the ex will get back together. Update to I'm pregnant with ex-husband's baby. And somehow AP - Reddit What? All four pairs of eyes are shooting daggers at me. I don't know why. This guy sounds so non-committal I wouldnt trust him to take care of my cat. Or of you. Regardless, youve landed yourself in a bad situation. You be the parent you want yourself to be. Just no. Being a parent is one of the greatest experiences but also one of the toughest roles to do well from what I hear. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Did My Partner Emotionally Cheat On Me?. Agreed. Delusional. It destroys mens lives, the lives of their offspring and sadly imposes on the calendar, emotions and psychy of the new women in these mens lives. But its up to this guy to step up to the plate, and hes not. So sad. But for those in longer term relationships where STDs arent an issue, you can see how this could play out. There is also this small part of me that is secretly celebrating this news. It's been about 3 days, but these days felt like weeks to me. Why? What is your support system like? She called security and they escorted him out. Consider the name Addie! As I write this, he is sleeping on a wooden chair, arms crossed. A child is a 20+ year commitment especially if you hope to send your child to college. No, you pick and choose who YOU think will be a fit parent. Chapter 2284. What? I called the fire department and managed to stay lucid until they came. Maybe hell be involved in the babys life, or maybe not. he did not take her back. All the time we were together he kept saying that he never had any romantic feelings for her so IDK what to think. Actually, my friend looked into artifical insemination and its super expensive. No relationship worth having includes keeping your distance to make him come back or any other bullshit mind games. Alright. Is it your horse or do the people that pay you provide you with the horse. dude if he can sleep with his wife and she sleeps through it theres waaaay bigger probs than the kid issue. Dont take my experience and reflect it on what you think your relationship might end up as because every relationship is different. Totally watched that episode too! did yall resent eachother or end up together? You're in this together now so you need to focus on your family. TikTok users were left stunned and quickly rushed to the comments. Now I'm pregnant. If she wants that to stop, the best way to do it is to keep trying to nudge him back into a romantic relationship. However, one of her most recent videos sees her reveal a bit about her personal life, leaving many people open-mouthed. She doesnt let me speak as she interrupts me rudely, Look Kavin, if you want to take up cricket as your full-time career, you have to marry the one we want you to. If you want to be with him because you feel obligated, you both will be miserable. Insecurity? We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. But things from the past have a way of coming back to bite us in the ass. Maybe you are fertile myrtle, but it seems highly unlikely. I loved your direct, dont sh! me response. Im just wondering since you come off as a complete jerk in your advise. A lot of women these days are planning to have children on their own, its not so uncommon anymore, but you need to be honest with yourself and stop trying to force a relationship that is never going to work. You need to stop plotting over how to get him back and think more about how youre going to raise the child as a single mom and how you guys are going to interact as parents. ! They talk more, debate, and meantime, their lack of birth control routine isnt addressed. I stare down at the three sticks that sat on the counter, all of them telling the same thing- PREGNANT. No judgement here. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. And I play cricket.. For some reason, I dont want to go into details about my career. Please include what you were doing when this page came up and the Cloudflare Ray ID found at the bottom of this page. 2022 can go eat a dick. You guys should really stop pestering him so much and let him meet our Nithi.. Rounds of cackles echo before the woman walks away and disappears into the hallway only to come back a minute later. 194 Stories Sort by: Hot # 1 Isabella by Amber 13.3M 408K 34 When Ashley found out that she was pregnant with twins, she couldn't wait to share the good news with her husband. And in the future, use birth control. My husband cursed me when I got pregnant but I refuse to 'divorce him' Soon.. I c***k my knuckles feeling like I am running out of my patience. If you feel you dohave the baby. Have you ever considered counseling? Im here to tell you guys - I've been living two lives, one on another social media platform and one here and the one that Ive been living here, Ive been trying to make it perfectly curated with recipes but I just cant do that anymore because thats not who I am. This guys got to be kidding me but from the way he is staring at us expectantly, it seems he is serious. Is there a social or church organization that you could join for moral support and advice? She heard about my miscarriage from husband, and didn't miss a beat in insulting me even more saying that's all I deserve for stealing her man away from her. Anyway PREGNANT GIRL keeps stalking me and sending me really nasty messages, its obvious they have a lot of problems, trust is way gone so I dont know how theyre going to make it work. Pregnant with Ex-husband's baby----/ Share to: Wehear Enjoy more audiobooks in Wehear Downlood. I had enough. This guy will never be the partner you want and probably not a reliable dad either commitment is not his thing. Dont judge too harshly guys who were married for less than a year. Thats nice, youre worried about the planet; I am happy to discuss how over population is bad for the planet! I'm pro-choice, it's very early in the pregnancy, and I would appreciate any advice!Pregnant and Alone. And thats exactly what you are and you are already trying to scheme to have baby mama drama. But I would suggest talking about that possibility now, while youre on good terms. May not be a popular opinion but thats my 2 cents. Let us know how you're doing. Let the rest go. Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. A platform with millions of users and novels. For starters, fertility is a funny thing. But I want him to get more involved in the pregnancy, not detached from it, so I kind of feel that we need to build more contact and not less, even though he has this new girl on the scene. If he wants to work on them, thats on him. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I mean, fine, since Im here, I make the best of it and live as well as I can, but I did not ask to be here. it's not immature to want to make things work when there are genuine feelings involved and you truly want to make things work together. I get worried about that too. I'm pregnant with ex-husband's baby. And somehow AP is mad? Wendy are you sure youre not a guy? In my imagination it's with Denise's brother and he's not married, just because I'm petty.